Morning guys!
So im having a late breaky after my morning lecture, only one for the day yay! so a bit of tea and toast then on to some homework, which I am very much procrastinating
I went and organised my refund for chefs uniform earlier, so theres a hundred dollars in my bank account! Wooppee, considering i only have $45 to my name. Dads also depositing 50, so ill have a little bit more money. Also have to call a lady back today about a job trial so fingers crossed i will soon be employed!
As much as im loving being unemployed, i really need some cash
Speaking of, i wish centrelink would hurry there asses up!
So last night i had the pleasure of waking up to this horrible insanel loud beeping noise, i popped my head out into the corridor where all us girls stood looking rather confused as to what the hell was going on at three thirty in the morning. The fire evacuation alarm then came on and we all had to evacuate at three thirty in the cold and wet after a storm and in our pyjamamas for a non existent fire. We still dont know what set it off!
Yesterday day was really lovely. Went down to manly to hand some resumes out then checked out the surf and skate comp down at the beach, was awesome weather but so many people! I definately miss the beaches back home! We then went to manly wines for some lunch and $15 jugs of Pimms! Then feeling a little happy, we checked out white water restaurant, where we had ten dollar cocktails and $4 wines for happy hour which was fantastic, also scored some free cocktails for next time, i think thats going to be our sunday tradition! haha
What else is new? I get to go home in march! For bells 19th which will be good to see people again, im very excited!
Anyway off to do some study!
Until next time,
much love.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
A fresh start
Dear world,
I was thinking about having a diary, then that kinda felt lame, I though i should move in to the twenty first century and get with this whole blogging trend and remembered the trouble my last diary caused me.
So here I am, writing my heart, desires, reflections and aspirations for the world to see.
Well heres my first weekend in Manly and in college. I am currently studying a BBA in hospitality managment at the International college of management in Manly, Sydney. Five hours away from home, the coast, family and that amazing carefree feeling, here i am 17 years old in the big wide world. Well for me it is, coming from the bay, being a coastal girl to the city on my own is pretty big. But at least i still have the beach, as crowded as it is and the amazing convenience of technology and public transport. (As scary and confusing as it is!)
I've had my first week of classes this week which were fun. They were mainly all introductory, but i got to meet some great people, a great group of girls, who hopefully will become great friends over the next three years.
Best thing about it - i get to wear a suit everyday!
Im living on campus, early morning classes are convenient. It's also a great place to start moving so far away and a good place to meet people. I already have made a good friend who is living next door to me. PLus i have access to ready made food, free wifi and the bassment bar! Hellllo cheap drinks! Sucky thing, manly has awesome night life and i'm not eighteen! :(
So when everyone goes out i get the awesome pleasure of laundry movies, homework and lots of time in my room.
Which gives me plenty of time for the internent, and thinking.
Today ive had the whole day to do whatever no classes and hardly any homework, i should be looking for a job, but a day to myself was nice.
And i've done alot of thinking and self reflecting. And it gives me plenty of time to miss people
Hence the blog.
I have spent the majority of the day watching one tree hill, relationships and drama. I like to think my life at home was a lot like it. Our town there was always drama, everyone had history with everyone. I had so much history in that town which i'm glad to get away from and start fresh. No one knows anything about me, i can almost re invent myself.
But i still have all the memories, of relationships i still have, and those ive burned and broken, those that have fallen apart, and those i wish i could get back and that's what I've been relfecting about.
Ive had so many flings, romances, and heartbreaks over the years ive lost count. I tend to let myself fall for the guys that screw me over and screw over the ones who actually give a damn, but i guess thats how life works.Theres a few that i have been remincising over photos, and looking back thinking about how times were then, and the person i was, i guess im dissapointed in the person i have been.
I'm sad that i let the relationships with my parents get so bad, but i'm fixing that now and i'm glad, i hope it continues to get better.
There were two boys that i can never really forget and i don't think i ever will. I really want to say that i miss them, but i dont. Not now anyway, im appreciative of the times we had, becuase looking back now, i can learn, that who i was,is not who i want to be, and im glad i made those mistakes.
And then theres someone else. Matthew, and thinking back i guess i regret alot. Because no matter how bad i treated him, how bad i screwed up, wether i was at my best or worst, whenever i needed him he was there, and he still is. And i don't deserve him, but I'm forever grateful that i have him. He has always been in my heart, and im sad that ive had to do what ive done to realise that, but elated that i have finally.
Theres so may other bridges ive burned, simply because i let them go carelessly. One in particular i don't know if i can recover, i hurt them so badly but again it has taught me a lesson, i dont want to be that person anymore, and i hope they see that sometime.
I guess at the end of the day, all we want is to be loved. As cliche as it is, it truly is what we live for, what makes the beauty of life. Happiness with someone you love is an unbeatable feeling, and one everyone deserves to feel. people may forget what we have done or said but they will never forget how you make them feel, and i guess thats what makes us human.
Thinking about who ive been, especially over the past year makes me wonder where my brain was. Ive done some wrong things, ive made plenty of mistakes, and ive gotten involved where i shouldnt. Im not proud of the person i was, and i didnt really have any goals. I was just going through the day to day motions, cheap thrills and temporary loving.
So heres to a fresh start, to the person I want to be, to the life i want to live, and to wherever the world may take me.
Until next time,
Much love.
I was thinking about having a diary, then that kinda felt lame, I though i should move in to the twenty first century and get with this whole blogging trend and remembered the trouble my last diary caused me.
So here I am, writing my heart, desires, reflections and aspirations for the world to see.
Well heres my first weekend in Manly and in college. I am currently studying a BBA in hospitality managment at the International college of management in Manly, Sydney. Five hours away from home, the coast, family and that amazing carefree feeling, here i am 17 years old in the big wide world. Well for me it is, coming from the bay, being a coastal girl to the city on my own is pretty big. But at least i still have the beach, as crowded as it is and the amazing convenience of technology and public transport. (As scary and confusing as it is!)
I've had my first week of classes this week which were fun. They were mainly all introductory, but i got to meet some great people, a great group of girls, who hopefully will become great friends over the next three years.
Best thing about it - i get to wear a suit everyday!
Im living on campus, early morning classes are convenient. It's also a great place to start moving so far away and a good place to meet people. I already have made a good friend who is living next door to me. PLus i have access to ready made food, free wifi and the bassment bar! Hellllo cheap drinks! Sucky thing, manly has awesome night life and i'm not eighteen! :(
So when everyone goes out i get the awesome pleasure of laundry movies, homework and lots of time in my room.
Which gives me plenty of time for the internent, and thinking.
Today ive had the whole day to do whatever no classes and hardly any homework, i should be looking for a job, but a day to myself was nice.
And i've done alot of thinking and self reflecting. And it gives me plenty of time to miss people
Hence the blog.
I have spent the majority of the day watching one tree hill, relationships and drama. I like to think my life at home was a lot like it. Our town there was always drama, everyone had history with everyone. I had so much history in that town which i'm glad to get away from and start fresh. No one knows anything about me, i can almost re invent myself.
But i still have all the memories, of relationships i still have, and those ive burned and broken, those that have fallen apart, and those i wish i could get back and that's what I've been relfecting about.
Ive had so many flings, romances, and heartbreaks over the years ive lost count. I tend to let myself fall for the guys that screw me over and screw over the ones who actually give a damn, but i guess thats how life works.Theres a few that i have been remincising over photos, and looking back thinking about how times were then, and the person i was, i guess im dissapointed in the person i have been.
I'm sad that i let the relationships with my parents get so bad, but i'm fixing that now and i'm glad, i hope it continues to get better.
There were two boys that i can never really forget and i don't think i ever will. I really want to say that i miss them, but i dont. Not now anyway, im appreciative of the times we had, becuase looking back now, i can learn, that who i was,is not who i want to be, and im glad i made those mistakes.
And then theres someone else. Matthew, and thinking back i guess i regret alot. Because no matter how bad i treated him, how bad i screwed up, wether i was at my best or worst, whenever i needed him he was there, and he still is. And i don't deserve him, but I'm forever grateful that i have him. He has always been in my heart, and im sad that ive had to do what ive done to realise that, but elated that i have finally.
Theres so may other bridges ive burned, simply because i let them go carelessly. One in particular i don't know if i can recover, i hurt them so badly but again it has taught me a lesson, i dont want to be that person anymore, and i hope they see that sometime.
I guess at the end of the day, all we want is to be loved. As cliche as it is, it truly is what we live for, what makes the beauty of life. Happiness with someone you love is an unbeatable feeling, and one everyone deserves to feel. people may forget what we have done or said but they will never forget how you make them feel, and i guess thats what makes us human.
Thinking about who ive been, especially over the past year makes me wonder where my brain was. Ive done some wrong things, ive made plenty of mistakes, and ive gotten involved where i shouldnt. Im not proud of the person i was, and i didnt really have any goals. I was just going through the day to day motions, cheap thrills and temporary loving.
So heres to a fresh start, to the person I want to be, to the life i want to live, and to wherever the world may take me.
Until next time,
Much love.
Monday, March 1, 2010
21 things ;
Well i really should be getting stuck into the five hours of homework i have to do, considering its already nearly five thirty, and i dont particularly want to go to bed at ten, however i found these on myspace, from ages ago and its a really good way to get things off your chest so though id just post it :)
Rules:
1. List 21 things you want to say to different people, but probably never will.
2. Dont say who they are.
3. Never discuss it.
1.i havent talked to you in over a year, but everynow and then i miss you. i hated you for so long for what you did to me, it was her fault of what happened and i hated you for making me think you loved me too. i dont think you realised how long it took for me to move on. but ill still cherish those times <3
2. I really despise you at times, you have such double standards and i hate the way you treat me.
3. I fell for you pretty hard, and we used to be sooo close. i miss that, but now your just a dickhead, and if i really think about it, you kinda always were.
4. Your a fucking prick and i despise you more than anyything. I came running back back time and time again and all you ever did was use me and treat me like a piece of shit and lie to me. Fuck you
5. I friggen miss you so much. nothing was the same without you for so long and i dont think you knew how much i depended on you. , weve both changed so much, but ill never forget the friendship we had :) and all the good times.
6. I really dont tell you enough how much you mean to me. Over all the years i think owe you my sanity many a time. youve always been there time and time again. I know weve had our moments and sometimes i do stupid things, and we do stupid things together, But i really love you, and hope i never loose you.
7. Im really sorry about what happened. It wasnt just your fault i was a bitch about the whole thing. Still it we had a good time.
8. Im not sure you realise how big a part of me you are, your what gets me through the days, even tho sometimes it seems like your the reason there so long. Still i love you with my whole heart. and i want you to know how much you mean to me.
9. im confused when it comes to you, i keep thinking bout the whole everything and at the moment im not sure what to make of you us or anything.
10. that night is etched into my brain. I dont know what it was for you, but to me it meant a bit.
11.i dont think you handled things very well. Your too caught up in yourself, and i think you need to take a step back and get a grip on everything. Stop blowing things out of proportion.
12. You make me happy, i love you.
13. your my bestfriend. you know me inside out and everything about me, it took alot of time i didnt know how to let you in. But thank you for waiting.
14. I think your maturity levels are lacking. you think you know alot, but in actual fact you really dont. Your naive and still need to grow up . You havent had the experience and the ones you have you ideals of them are totally wrong. and your too stubborn to think otherwise, this really gets on my nerves, stop treating me like the young one. if youll listen i can teach you alot. You still need to grow up considerably.
15. sometimes when i think of you i think of the movie not another teen movie, You think your above the drama but truth is, your just a big part of. and are to caught up in yourself to realise.
16. for gods sake your a hell of lot older than what your acting!, act how you should and cut the bullshit.
17. your beautiful, i just wish you knew that and werent so insecure. I dont think people realise how much everything has an affect on you, and im sory for that.
18. You dont deserve him
19. Please dont hurt me,
20. sometimes i love you sometimes i despise you, im sorry for how i treat you at times, it jsut depends how im feeling on the day, you dont deserve it but thats just how i deal with it.
21. i miss you. the old you. the one i could tell anything about and would always tell me what to do. the one who yelled at people at the pub for messing with me. the one who i could crawl into bed with and watch movies all night. the one who was such a big part of me. i looked up to you, but now your gone, in a sense anyway. i couldnt deal with it if you were gone forever, and no matter what i say or how i treat you, i love you so much, it just hurts and id rather mask that pain than have
Rules:
1. List 21 things you want to say to different people, but probably never will.
2. Dont say who they are.
3. Never discuss it.
1.i havent talked to you in over a year, but everynow and then i miss you. i hated you for so long for what you did to me, it was her fault of what happened and i hated you for making me think you loved me too. i dont think you realised how long it took for me to move on. but ill still cherish those times <3
2. I really despise you at times, you have such double standards and i hate the way you treat me.
3. I fell for you pretty hard, and we used to be sooo close. i miss that, but now your just a dickhead, and if i really think about it, you kinda always were.
4. Your a fucking prick and i despise you more than anyything. I came running back back time and time again and all you ever did was use me and treat me like a piece of shit and lie to me. Fuck you
5. I friggen miss you so much. nothing was the same without you for so long and i dont think you knew how much i depended on you. , weve both changed so much, but ill never forget the friendship we had :) and all the good times.
6. I really dont tell you enough how much you mean to me. Over all the years i think owe you my sanity many a time. youve always been there time and time again. I know weve had our moments and sometimes i do stupid things, and we do stupid things together, But i really love you, and hope i never loose you.
7. Im really sorry about what happened. It wasnt just your fault i was a bitch about the whole thing. Still it we had a good time.
8. Im not sure you realise how big a part of me you are, your what gets me through the days, even tho sometimes it seems like your the reason there so long. Still i love you with my whole heart. and i want you to know how much you mean to me.
9. im confused when it comes to you, i keep thinking bout the whole everything and at the moment im not sure what to make of you us or anything.
10. that night is etched into my brain. I dont know what it was for you, but to me it meant a bit.
11.i dont think you handled things very well. Your too caught up in yourself, and i think you need to take a step back and get a grip on everything. Stop blowing things out of proportion.
12. You make me happy, i love you.
13. your my bestfriend. you know me inside out and everything about me, it took alot of time i didnt know how to let you in. But thank you for waiting.
14. I think your maturity levels are lacking. you think you know alot, but in actual fact you really dont. Your naive and still need to grow up . You havent had the experience and the ones you have you ideals of them are totally wrong. and your too stubborn to think otherwise, this really gets on my nerves, stop treating me like the young one. if youll listen i can teach you alot. You still need to grow up considerably.
15. sometimes when i think of you i think of the movie not another teen movie, You think your above the drama but truth is, your just a big part of. and are to caught up in yourself to realise.
16. for gods sake your a hell of lot older than what your acting!, act how you should and cut the bullshit.
17. your beautiful, i just wish you knew that and werent so insecure. I dont think people realise how much everything has an affect on you, and im sory for that.
18. You dont deserve him
19. Please dont hurt me,
20. sometimes i love you sometimes i despise you, im sorry for how i treat you at times, it jsut depends how im feeling on the day, you dont deserve it but thats just how i deal with it.
21. i miss you. the old you. the one i could tell anything about and would always tell me what to do. the one who yelled at people at the pub for messing with me. the one who i could crawl into bed with and watch movies all night. the one who was such a big part of me. i looked up to you, but now your gone, in a sense anyway. i couldnt deal with it if you were gone forever, and no matter what i say or how i treat you, i love you so much, it just hurts and id rather mask that pain than have
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